Friday, September 30, 2005

Tooth Fairy Receives Respite from OSHA

Due to rules that require dental offices to dispose of all human tissue, the Tooth Fairy no longer has to worry about collecting wisdom teeth. Citizens may be disappointed that they can't keep their teeth after having them removed by a professional, but this move by OSHA will allow the Tooth Fairy to remain in business longer. It is unclear whether the Tooth Fairy was involved directly in OSHA's rule-making process. One thing is for certain: she is far richer than she was before the rule was made.

While no one is certain of her age, we are all aware of how time works, and it works the same for her too. As she ages it is probably much harder for her to keep up her current level of activity. By cutting her workload so significantly, OSHA is indirectly helping prolong the life of the Tooth Fairy's empire. Sacrificing a visit from the Tooth Fairy is a small price for adults to pay so that she may continue bringing happiness to children as they lose their precious teeth.

(The Tooth Fairy could not be reached for comment.)

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Starting at the Twelves

A lot of you know I lost about 30 pounds on Weight Watchers over the last 2 years. I lost most of it over a year ago, and I've been on a rather irritating plateau for a long time. There is still a good 15-20 pounds of body fat which has decided it really, really likes me and just does not want to leave. But I've HAD IT, the fat has stayed too long at the party here in LizLand, and if I want it to leave, I'm gonna have to get aggressive - 'throw oars' as one of my favorite rowing friends puts it.

I have decided that since The Dog People are having such great success with Body for Life, I'm going to try the program too. [By the way, The Dog People just recently got engaged while in London, I'm so excited for them!] The goal for my first BFL challenge (which lasts 12 weeks, I'm on week 3) is for my size TEN Nordstrom jeans to be loose. I'm starting off wearing TWELVES... these are my fat jeans. Now I realize that I have just broadcast to all my friends (real and imaginary internet) that I wear Size 12 jeans. I'm not OK with this.

So, Friend Reading This, if you are out with me, and I reach for some type of food that will keep me wearing size 12s, will you please ask me what size jeans I'm wearing? I promise I won't take offense to your question. I will be thankful for the subtle little reminder of what my goals are. The exception to this is Sundays. Sunday is my free day and I can eat whatever (within reason) so please don't mention my jeans on Sundays and we'll all live peaceably. Same goes for birthdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas.

This all being said, I promise not to use this blog as a running commentary of my BFL efforts. I just wanted you all to know I'm trying something new. If you want to know more about BFL, check out http://www.bodyforlife.com. And if you are truly interested, you all know that I keep some kind of journal on everything I do, so I will share my BFL journal with you if you ask.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

OCTOBER

My sister sent me an email with all the months of the year, and under each month a bunch of traits common to people born in that month were listed. My birthday is in October, and the list that went with it totally sums me up. Here it is:

OCTOBER
Loves to chat. (yes)
Loves those who loves them. (oh, yes)
Loves to takes things at the center. (um, I think so)
Inner and physical beauty. (I'd like to think so!)
Sexy. (of course)
Gets angry often. (I wish it weren't so but it's probably a yes)
Treats friends importantly. (hell yes)
Always making new friends. (double hell yes)
Easily hurt but recovers easily. (most applicable to me on this list!)
Daydreamer. (second most applicable on this list)
Loyal. (absolutely)
Opinionated. (DOUBLE absolutely)
Does not care of what others think. (I do care, but I'm still gonna do what I want anyhow, so yes)
Emotional. (yes)
Decisive. (um, least applicable to me on the list)
Strong clairvoyance. (yes)
Loves to travel, (yes) the arts (oh hell yes) and literature. (yes yes yes)
Touchy. (yes)
Honest, does not pretend. (this one gets a hell yes, too)
Concerned. (yes)
Loves outdoors. (definitely yes)
Just and fair. (yes, once the temper dies down)
Spendthrift. (oh hell yes)
Easily influenced. (I can be...)
Easily loses confidence. (yes, if you use the right words with me)
Loves children. (believe it or not, yes)

If you want to see the whole list with all months, email me and I'll send it to you.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

It's Got Nothing to Do With Luck

Someone told me I was lucky to be surrounded by such fantastic people in my life. They're half correct. I have friends and family who are such models of humanity and friendship that I pretty much go to sleep each night with a smile on my face as I think about how wonderful they are. But the fact that they are in my life and that I'm surrounded by great people has absolutely NOTHING to do with luck.

My brother and sister are without a doubt my best friends. We went through plenty of fun things and terrible things together as we grew up, and whether we liked it or not, we were always there with each other. Today in our late twenties, we don't live in the same town but we are all still just as close as we were while we were growing up. We wouldn't have it any other way because we realize that through it all, we weren't just there with each other, but we were there FOR each other. We all know that no matter what happened or how bad things got, we'd be there for each other and help each other out. We also know that the most fun we ever have is the times we are laughing together, and we try to create opportunities for that to happen as often as possible. We are friends because we choose to be friends.

My friends today are the same way. Each of us meet new people every day - and that is pretty much a chance event. But it takes years to form friendships, and mine are no accident. I cultivate relationships with these people I want in my life. I learn from them and become a better person by being with them, and in some way I enrich their lives as well. I support them if they need it, and I know I can lean on them when things get rough for me. Luck is something that only exists in gambling, and a good friendship is not a gamble. You work at it and you find it through the laughter and tears that unite you with people.

I love my friends. I would do anything for any one of them because I know that they would do the same for me. I thoroughly enjoy being around them, they show me new sides to life and help me change my negative behaviors. They laugh with me, they cry with me, as I do with them. My friends are the reason I'm alive, they are the reason I get out of bed in the morning, and the reason I know I'm never alone. I do whatever I can for them, and they always surprise me with their thoughtfulness and appreciation for me.

It is by chance that Slug Brother is my brother and The Rockette is my sister. It is by chance that I met Indie, Two Seat, The Mexican, The Mack, The Little Indian - and everyone else in my life. But chance has nothing to do with the reason I am surrounded by all these fantastic people, it's because I choose to be around them and nurture the friendship. Luck is something that appears at the Blackjack tables. My friendships and the wonderful people in my life are a result of my own efforts to be wonderful to them and to keep them in my life.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Holy Cannoli!

It was The Jart's birthday this weekend. We all went to dinner at my favorite restaurant - Bambinelli's. At the end of our feast, the waiter brought out a cannoli with a candle in it while The Godfather played Happy Birthday on the piano in the corner of the restaurant.

Bambinelli's is THE BEST. I say this about everything, but let me put it this way, it's where I want to go for dinner on my birthday every year. The food is fantastic, but the cannoli, OH MY GOSH, well there are no words really to describe what is the creamy chocolate chippy goodness surrounded by the delicate pastry shell.

The Jart very graciously passed around bites of his birthday cannoli. Mr. Colorado had never had one, and he asked me what it was as I put the fork in my mouth.

"HEAVEN." I replied after savoring my bite.

"Heaven? In there?" he asked.

The Jart overheard and interjected. "Yep, God lives in it. It's Heaven."