the reality is...

Quarantine lockdown is hard. Despite the blessing of extra time and constant contact with Mr. Steak Dinner and DoberLove, it's still hard. I miss the rest of my family, I miss my friends. I miss my gym. I miss social bike rides, restaurants, group meetings, personal interaction, church. (Wait, church? Who am I?? Yes, I know the saints and Holy Ghost himself are all rolling over.) I wonder when I will get to see my friends. I wonder when I will get to do ANYTHING.

I am still happy, overall. I am grateful I have a job and that I'm on lockdown with this guy and dog that I just LOVE. But I have my moments of despair in all of this - when will it end, will things ever be normal, when will I not have to Lysol wipe the banana peels, will my increased alcohol consumption cause me permanent liver damage, how's my mom handling my grandma today, can the number on the scale really jump up that quickly? Well. Some of that I can't control, some of it I CAN. The trick for me is to identify what is in my control vs. what is not. Change what I can, let go of what I can't and just MOVE ON.

In any case, I just kind of wanted to keep it real here - while yes, I'm happy and blessed to be in a great quarantine ship, it's hard not to let the water around it get in... it's not just smooth sailing, there's still a big storm going on outside and while I'd love to just ride it out here on this comfy boat I'm in, I've still got to go on deck or below deck and bail out all that water, at times.

Someone made a really great point that we didn't think life would ever be normal after 9/11 - but it did. Humans are resilient. We find our new normal. The gray area is hard, that bridge between what was and what is... but all I can say is, have faith. The universe is unfolding exactly as it should.