look Ma, we didn't f*$% it up!!

Thanksgiving... mmmm, turkey. Pie. Rockette's corn stuff. The cranberry stuff. Pie. Sweet Potatoes. Pie.

No horseshoes this year due to the rain, Oh well it was fun anyhow. No fights, though He Who Fought Most is no longer with us... which brings me to the main point of this little blog: the email exchange that went on between my family the week before we were all together for turkey and pie.

The Rockette writes a blanket email entitled "politics" to everyone she knows, and that email goes like this:


To all those I think this may apply to...

I'm going to ask you all refrain from forwarding me any politcially motivated emails. Specifically ones that bash one party or another. In the coming year there will be an increase and I've already gotten many that I have found incredibly frustrating.

Though I am a registered republican and support some of their policies (some tax issues, gun policies, etc) - I identify with many democratic issues as well (increased National Science Foundation funding and protection of individual rights).

Republican and democratic politicians alike have major character flaws. There is no perfect choice. We just have to choose who best aligns with our biggest issues and vote that way.

I cant legally get married - thats mine.

I dont mind chatting with anyone who wants to about any political topic, I just have a problem with the emails...

thanks

Then Slug Brother does a reply to Rockette, Mom, Crazy Neighbors in VT and myself:

Yo Big Gay [Rockette], Hows it hangin!

Since you will not be taking any more emails on political views, I feel obliged to let you know mine......

Yes, you should be able to get married, it should not even be a political issue. If not married, at least the tax break. No, I don't believe stem-cell research, abortion, or religion have anything to do with a healthy economy. National Healthcare is a fucking JOKE, we have all waited in line at the DMV, I don't want to wait in the same line for a heart transplant. I am interested in finding out why you think the Democrats are privy to the protection of individual rights! Heres a wakeup call to any of your liberal friends: Hillary Clinton is a SOCIALIST, borderline Communist. (Remember, when I say liberal it has nothing to do with your sexual preference, it should be a non-issue by now, but it won't be until our generation is running the government). Liberal Economists do not exist. We are already over taxed if working for an employer. The only way you are not over taxed in the US today is if you own your own business and are able to write off expenses and work the system (which I do, but I am still over taxed on the income I have from SMC.) Unions have already ruined the Big 3 and bankrupted the airlines. Every single man or woman in the armed forces VOLUNTEERED to fight the war, I would be there if the first two questions asked by the recruiter weren't: are you suffering from asthma? and do you have a history of knee problems?)

When my son is the age that I am now, if I have a son, China will be fighting with Russia over the top spot for the world's largest superpower if we don't make some major changes. Most of the changes that need to be made are supported by Republicans. However, like you stated before, both parties have their own character flaws.

Assault Rifle Toting Brother

Assault Rifle Toting Brother?!?!? Do I need to rename my brother here in LizLand? And just who *is* this guy writing this email and claiming to be my brother? I have to say the following:

I am wildly impressed with Assault Rifle Toting brother's extensive response!!! Didn't know you had it in ya!

[insert a sentence on liz's political views here]

Let the games begin...

Love.Liz

And then out of nowhere, here comes Sweet Mother of Ours (yes, sing her name to the GNR sweet child o' mine tune):

To All My Children:

I am looking forward to a wonderful Thanksgiving - I am sad that Dad won't be around, but on the other hand, I figured that this year, there wouldn't be any fighting.

DON'T FUCK THIS UP, PLEASE!


Love from Mom

?!?!?!?!!?!?!?! I can't type my response fast enough:

Alright - which one of you guys taught Mom how to use the f-word?

;)

And from Assault Rifle Toting Brother comes:

Hey [Rockette],

Mom actually thought it would piss you off that I call you Big Gay [Rockette], HA!

So Rockette finishes what she started with this:

Holy crap this is hysterical....never thought my email would start such a funny serious of responses.

I'm not sure if it surprised me more to hear mom say the f-word or [Assault Rifle Toting Brother] say 'privy'

[Rockette]

ps mom - big gay [rockette] is a character from [cartoon show] that [ART Brother and Car Guy] have called me for years - [Art Brother] calls me lots of names - they are all in fun...Thanksgiving will be delightful.

And it was. One of the most delightful we have had! I love love LOVE my family. Can't wait for Christmas and New Year's!!!!

ski day 2

What a difference a good ski makes. I went up to Copper last weekend with my new Salomon skis - and felt like a complete novice on them. So thanks to Colorado Ski and Golf's awesome return policy, today I was able to go up with sweet new Dynastars. THEY ROCKED!!! And were far better looking than the Salomon skis. ;)

I love Colorado. I love that I am skiing and that this is the 2nd day I've gone up this season. Copper was great today... I had a rough week and almost didn't go b/c I had so much to do before I go home for Thanksgiving... but I am THRILLED I went because it was awesome and P and I had a great time.

*HAPPINESS IS SNOW*

God Bless Texas

I got a speeding ticket (my first ever) on my road trip to Austin last month.

So the way Texas works is that you have to call in before your "Court Date" which is specified on your citation. You do not have to physically be in the court, you just make the call to arrange your method of payment - mine was $150, all in. Unless I called after my court date. Then the payment more than doubled...

Of course, At 5PM on my court date, I remembered I needed to call the courthouse in EBF, Texas. This sweet lady on the other end of the line picked up - thank goodness they were not closed! Really, this woman could not have been nicer if she tried. I think she was made of honey and sugar crystals, dripping with maple syrup and a southern accent.

I told Miss Sugar why I was calling, and she asked for the ticket number. I waited while she pulled it up - and then she says "well, Hun, do you want this to be on or off your record?"

Come again?

"Uh, off, preferably." Duh. Who says they want a moving violation to stay on their record?

"Well OK, here's what ya do. You pay an extra for-ty dollars and we dee-fer the charge for 60 days, at which time we run your record and if you have no other violations we don't report it, it's just like it never happened. How's that?"

What is this?! Is this legal? Of course it's legal, it's Texas! They invented shit like this.

Sure thing you can have my $40 of hush money, State of Texas. You may have questionable morals but hell, you saved me $200 in higher insurance costs - so God Bless you!