Happy 2024

Man plans, God laughs. The past six months looked a whole lot different than what I envisioned. I'm no closer to being a published writer because, well, I've written zilch. But apparently, that wasn't the way the universe wanted me to go (yet). The last half of 2024 was, overall, a deep dark valley for me. And I walked through it in a torrential downpour. But. I walked through it. And like the good Dolly says, eventually, every storm runs out of rain. Here after the first week of 2024, the clouds are breaking. There are still some spotty showers, but I'm seeing more sun. Huzzah. 

And to be fair to the universe, it's been pretty good about pointing me in the direction I should be going (coaching), so I'm leaning into that. I'm looking forward to 2024. We'll see how it all unfolds, but today, I'm thankful I can still walk toward doing things I LOVE. 

What Happened in 2023:

• Rang in the new year with my family in FL.
• Did my first half IM in Salem, OR, and had a GREAT TIME!
• Drove the US back and forth throughout the year, for fun and not. Denver > Philadelphia > Denver > Oregon Coast > Denver. (Mr. Blueberry Pancakes made the westbound portion of the trip, only)
• Lost my Grandma, Marco Sunshine Doggy Love, and our cousin Jeannie. Death sucks for the living.
• Continued coaching for WeightWatchers; continued loving what I do, there.
• Caught up with family and friends we haven't seen in a long time.
• Spent quality time with family in Florida.
• Said goodbye to my grandparents' house for the last time.
• Went TENT CAMPING with Patrick and the dogs for the first time in 12 years!
• Had a glorious birthday with Mr. BP and the dogs (right before we lost Marco)
• Hosted a wonderful Thanksgiving with dear friends - Solo Polo's first Turkey Trot!
• Joined a choir.
• Recognized as RMTC's Most Improved Athlete for 2023. Fun note, I was GT Crew Varsity Women's Most Improved in 1998, so apparently this happens every 25 years!
• Made a difference in the life of a child. I love mentoring for DPS high school students. 
• Became an aunt to a new soul - my sister and her wife welcomed their baby boy just before Christmas, what a gift. 

What's Going On in 2024:

• Rang in the new year with great friends here in CO.
• Signed up for the next half IM in Wisconsin this September, WITH MR. BP! I'm excited we'll BOTH be racing!
• Signed up to get my ACE Health Coach certification, with full backing and encouragement from my manager at WeightWatchers (and so many others!)
• Me and Mr. Blueberry Pancakes are on the Officers Board for Rocky Mountain Triathlon Club.
• Looking forward to more ups than downs, this year.

My life looks completely different than it did just two years ago. I like the direction it's headed. I hope you are starting off what will be one of the best years of your life. Or, at least, one of the best days of your life, if the year is too much to think about. Go be great!

what comes next...

When I decided to leave my full-time job in December, the first thing everyone asked is "What will you be doing?" My truthful answer was I needed some time to re-group my life and take care of my family, before moving on to something else. We had planned for me to take time off to do this when I left the prior job three years ago, but this full-time job opportunity appeared and was too good to pass up. Three years later, it was still a good job, but not the job for me and the time was right for me to take the break I'd intended. 

I gave my employer six weeks notice. As I got closer to my departure date, the questions about my next steps really started coming up. They were becoming a little more intrusive, and I thought I needed a better answer to give to other people. So I said (and meant) that I was exploring starting my own operation (I was doing this at the time) but that I wanted to leave January and February open to decompress and catch up on my non-work life before I made any career moves or decisions. I also scheduled time to visit FL to help my mom transition as full-time caregiver to my grandma (her mom), and visit other family I had missed seeing over the past decade. I didn't know exactly what I was going to do after I took my little break from working full-time, but I knew I was going to turn toward doing things I love. 

Suddenly it was the middle of March, and I was busier than I had ever been, in a good way, in a life has more meaning way.  I was spending quality time with more friends and family. I read. I took a class that taught me how to narrate and produce audiobooks. I skied solo on weekdays and with Mr. Blueberry Pancakes on weekends. We reconnected with friends along Highway 82 and spent Easter on Aspen mountain with some of them. I had taken on a part-time job as a Coach for WW (Weight Watchers) and while it paid very little, it was a lot of fun and far more rewarding than I expected.

My health really improved. I started running more frequently and had been lifting weights regularly since January, and hadn't stopped either. I slept well. My weight was back to normal. I rejoined the Lighthouse Writer's Workshop and signed up to volunteer for their literary festival in the summer. I started outlining a thing I'd like to write. I told DH and a couple friends that I'd really like to put some time toward writing, and they were super supportive. 

And then I blinked and it was May. More family time in Colorado. A return to hiking. DH did a mountain bike relay race and we had a great camping weekend with cousins. My high school mentee was coming up on graduation. I was able to go back to FL to take care of my mom and grandma for two and a half weeks, following my mom's surgery. Again with the questions... was I looking for a job? No, I had one with WW, for now. Was I going to start consulting? I didn't know. I also didn't take on any audiobook contracts, because I was taking care of my mom and grandma and needed to be present for that full-time job, not worrying about other outside work. But while I was in Florida, what I really wanted my next steps for 'outside work' to be, was becoming clear. 

Then it was June, and I'm back in Colorado, volunteering at Lit Fest when it clicked. It was OK that I didn't have all the answers as to how this was all going to play out or how I would be successful, but I knew that I wanted to write, and that I did have to start writing and just keep the faith that it will work out better than I could ever have imagined. So, I tightened up that outline and got to work. The first day I wrote, I got about 1500 words and one round of tears... but at least I had started to 'spill the mess.' It's not an easy project, and Writing A Thing is a lot less romantic than you think it is, but despite the angst, it is also rewarding and I am very happy to be doing it. And since I started, the universe has done nothing but give me signs that I am heading in the right direction, so I will keep going. 

So that's what comes next, a completed first draft. I am also still spending quality time talking to or doing things with people I love. I'm taking good care of me and my family, working as a WW Coach, and lifting/biking/running/being active regularly. Me and DH are planning more travel, exploring fun things like Belgium, returning to Oktoberfest, and hiking some or all of the trail around Mont Blanc (none of this until next year or the year after, but at least it's on our radar.) I may pick up another student in the mentoring program at East High School this fall. My time is my choice and I am choosing to spend in a way that is meaningful to me. All of THIS is also NOW and part of what comes NEXT... so, here we go. :)

--

PS - Let me just call out Mr. Blueberry Pancakes right now, for being the SAINT that he is. In the words of my grandma while I was in FL in May: "Oh, you should meet her husband, he's really a nice, wonderful man. He's so patient. Well, you have to be, with That One." ["That One" is yours truly. Thanks, Grandma.] But Mr. BP has been supportive the whole time. THE WHOLE TIME. He's not perfect, and neither am I, but the bottom line is we support each other, and I am so, so grateful that he is who he is, and I don't take it for granted what a blessing he is to me. 

on running...

I can't remember when I downloaded Strava to my phone. It was definitely before Covid times... tonight I did a 4.8 mile run with the tri club (my second since post-Covid times) and when I was done and my Garmin sync to the phone was complete, I got the message:

"Congratulations, this is activity is your longest run on Strava!"

It is not the longest run I've ever done, but it *is* my longest run in quite a while, so I'm pretty proud of that. 

Last summer my hip was injured, and I had to go through a 4-month bout of physical therapy, followed by a painfully slow "Return to Running" program that let me up the mileage or time I ran in teeny tiny little increments over a few MORE months. Just in the last month, I am back up to running 5K pain-free. This is proof I can learn from my mistakes - I now know you SHOULD listen to and FOLLOW your orders from your physical therapist, because the outcome will be WAY BETTER than being out of running for four years because you made your injury worse by not doing what they said in the first place. 

In any case, last week, at the first tri club workout I went to in post-Covid times, my Garmin congratulated me on my "Fastest 5k!" My time was, to me, laughably slow, but I was happy to see the message because it was proof that I was improving, and that the tri club workouts pushed me to increase my pace. I have never, ever been a fast runner. I was thrilled to break one hour (just barely) when I ran the 10K Turkey Trot down in FL back in 2017. I would be thrilled to do that again, 5 years later... if the joints all hold up, that is!

Tonight's run is so many things, but mostly, it's happiness. I cannot believe that here in my mid-forties, having been overweight and in pain for over half my walking life, that I now love to run. I don't run fast, I generally don't run far (6 miles is kind of my max, and I *might* run that distance twice a year). This run makes the mental struggle of going through injury and following instructions to recover, no matter how slowly, WORTH IT. And that struggle makes those first couple good runs, no matter how slow, feel like kind of the best runs of your life. 

Valentine vacuum

I bought a new vacuum cleaner this week, it's my Valentine's Day present to myself. This may be the first time in my 44 years I have made such a purchase. It's a Shark Cordless Pet Plus, with "Powerfins" and a few attachments, plus a canister that can be detached for use as a hand vac, and also to empty directly into the trash can. I did zero research for this purchase. Simply put, the task of housecleaning has fallen to me (no more paying someone else to do it, for a while) and one use of my husband's ancient, enormous Regina vacuum cleaner, tripping over the cord, lugging it up and down the stairs, and having no handy attachments to make the job any easier made me realize we need a much better tool for this job. Off to Costco I went, and the Shark seemed the best available option, with the added bonus that it was on sale. 

Yesterday I unpacked it, charged it and took it for its inaugural run. The sheer volume of dust and hair collected made it apparent that our house has never been vacuumed. Either that, or we just track in that much dirt and the dobers shed that much hair in a month (I think that's the last time anyone was here to clean the house). I had to empty the canister three times, and each time I popped the bottom to allow the contents to drop into the trash can, I marveled at how much fur, dander and dirt fell out. I'm pretty sure that 22-year-old Liz would be mortified at the amount of joy this brought 44-year-old Liz. 

I can't say I'll fall in love with vacuuming, but the results are now definitely worth the effort. Our carpets look great. The wood floors are dust-free. The area rugs in the kitchen and bathroom look spiffy, and the headboards and couches look good, too. I ran that thing out of all 40 minutes of battery yesterday, and I'll probably go over some of the furniture again today. I now understand why Mr. Blueberry Pancake's uncle vacuums every day after dinner. It's a lot easier to do when you have a good tool at your fingertips, and it's a lot more gratifying than this accidental housewife expected it to be. I love me enough to buy me some time to paint my nails, or read a book, or write things like this - the new Shark allows that, so, happy Valentine's Day to ME. 

the return of Hot Bill

So here at the start of 2022, I am where many people are, thinking that a new year = new opportunities. This year my quest to evolve into the best version of me has a specific focus on my health and well-being, which includes a return to regular strength workouts. I just found the little purple notebook with all the workouts from my very first trainer, Hot Bill, from ~20 years ago. And no, I never, EVER called him Hot Bill in person - that was my (and my friends') nickname for him and I would have been absolutely mortified if he'd known!

I remember I LOVED these training sessions, and not just because Hot Bill was easy on the eyes. I even loved getting there - I didn't have a car at the time, so I would bike or MARTA it up to the apartment complex he ran the sessions from, and then the workouts flew by! It was always a very solid lift routine mixed with great conversation. He started me on machines and gradually educated me to train using free weights. He is the reason I know the right way to squat and deadlift. I saw excellent results over the few months I worked with him. I am so glad Hot Bill introduced me to proper strength training, it has been a continuous love of mine since we met.

Finding this notebook was no coincidence; not only are the workouts great and very helpful, my memory of this time in my life was that I was HAPPY, and I had great people in my life. These are aspects that I am working to cultivate most in my life right now, so uncovering this tangible link to a joyful spot in my past directly propels my current evolution in the most positive way. 😄 Looking over Hot Bill's routines, he basically had me on an upper/lower body split. Yesterday I did the first workout in the notebook, it was good, but I need to up the weights! I am looking forward to completing the rest of the sessions, I know I will again have great results. 

Hot Bill wrote his phone# down at the end of the notebook. I have no recollection of why I stopped working with him, and if we were meant to keep in touch, I'm sorry I never did. Who knows if that's still his number? Maybe after I complete the whole book I'll give him a call and let him know the impact he had on my life, 20 years later. Or maybe I'll just be super grateful that Hot Bill came into my life when he did and is still giving me the gift of better health, in spirit. 

the beat goes on...

Me and Mr. Blueberry Pancakes are coming up on a DECADE of being married. To state the obvious, time flies, and I'm sure you feel the same if you were at that wedding, laughing, drinking mojitos, and crowding the dance floor with us that day. It certainly doesn't feel as if it was ten whole years ago. 

Like every newlywed couple, ever, we got tons of "how to make it work" advice. What I didn't realize at the time was that 1) every bit of that advice was 100% true and 2) that we would indeed NEED IT at some point. Because, yes, though wedded bliss is generally Wedded Bliss, there are times it's not - that advice would come in really handy when things got tough. 

One of the oddest comments someone made was that "you turn into your spouse." This isn't so much advice, as it is prepping you for the inevitable. You know that thing your future spouse does that is just completely ridiculous? You're going to do it, too, at some point. And with any luck, you will die laughing when you realize that you now carry a toothbrush in the side pocket of your car door, PLUS a spare in the passenger door, just in case. Now I've never gotten to the point where I *use* that toothbrush in the car, but after so many road trips and ski days feeling the need to brush my teeth, it sure is nice to have it to bring into the gas station with me. Yup, you turn into your spouse!

But I digress (because in a decade, or four, some things will never change). Here are some of the points of advice that I had to heed, or was grateful to heed, one way or another over these past ten years.

- Never take your spouse for granted and thank them as much as you can. 

- Make time to enjoy each other, and each other only. Be alone together doing something you both love. 

- Don't keep score. Once you do that, you've already lost. 

- Marriage is like a farm - you have to work at it every day, there are always things to do. Some of the things you like, others you may not like, but you have to do all the chores if you want to reap a good harvest. It's worth the effort. 

- Your spouse is your partner and the point is to advance the partnership toward common goals. Sometimes you will support your spouse more and sometimes they will support you more, but you're both in it to move the partnership toward what you both want out of life. 

- Your spouse will grow and change, and so will you. You're not beholden to the person (or to REMAIN the person) that showed up to the church at 3PM that Saturday in 2011, both of you will change. The important thing is that you grow together, so if you feel like that's not happening, check in with each other immediately, don't hope things will change on their own. Make it a point to grow together.

- You have to learn how to fight with each other. Disagreements will happen and you can love someone more than anything, but if fighting with them turns you or them into a terrible kind of person you don't want to be, you need to figure that out (and a counselor will get you there a lot faster than you can get there on your own). 

- Marriage is a mirror which forces you to face your flaws. You have to deal with those flaws to become a better human. Don't blame the mirror, and don't beat up the person reflected (you) when you see the flaws. Just figure out how to be better. (Again, counselors help IMMENSELY with this.)

- When things get hard, seek help. If your spouse decides to do a half ironman while starting a new job, and your job won't let you keep up the house and the lawn while they take that on, hire a housekeeper and a lawn service and move on. You're not a bad spouse for it. 

- When things get REALLY hard, you will need outside counsel, and you really don't want that to be in the form of a divorce lawyer. When you and your spouse can't seem to get on the same page about anything without one or both of you ending up in tears, get outside help. Whether it's a counselor or therapist, clergy, a trusted elder... you're going to need SOMEONE who can help you learn to communicate with each other. It doesn't matter how compatible you are, every couple has some element of discord and misunderstanding, and outsiders who have your best interests as a couple at heart can really help you get through that and work better together. 

- If you need to vent about your spouse or bounce off how to handle a tricky situation with your spouse before actually doing it, talk to their family, not yours. Their family is generally beholden to them and loves them unconditionally, whereas your family sees them as a potential threat to your happiness. Plus, it's likely their family has been dealing with the same issue in their own relationship to your spouse, and can give you helpful tips on what worked and what didn't. 

And here's my favorite:

- Never be crazy at the same time. Whoever is currently crazy gets to ride out being crazy, and the other one has to stay calm and let them get back to normal, before they turn crazy themselves. Trust me, this one may have saved our marriage many times. Notice they are currently crazy. Step back and let them ride it out, don't you dare get in there and be crazy, too. Mr. Blueberry Pancakes is very, very good at this. So am I, but he has to do it way more often than I do! We're both conscious of this and if I had to say there is one tacit rule we follow, it's this one. Hence, we're still together :)

Being married is generally awesome, especially if it's to someone as wonderful as Mr. Blueberry Pancakes. It really is a blessing to have someone to go through the ups and downs of life with. But just because it's mostly fun doesn't mean it's not also difficult, at times. Looking back at the last ten years there's so much more good than bad, and all the good still glitters and shines while the bad just fades away. My intent over the next week is to share some of that glitter and tell some of the great stories of the past ten years, but on the other hand, I might just save all that for The Book. 

What I can say for certain about marriage is that you get back tenfold what you put into it. And similarly, you get punished at least tenfold for what you ignore or don't tend to. So, choose wisely. ;) And happy TEN YEARS to us - la dee da dee dee, la dee da dee da... 

So this is Christmas...

DH and I are slightly ridiculous, lately, in so many ways. We drove the dobers to FL for Christmas. I mean, when your 96 year old grandma feels well enough to get on a plane, and you can't bear to spend your first Christmas with your new doggie love AWAY from said new doggie love, well, you pack up the car and head east, for a 20-hour+ road trip. 

This is simultaneously the best and worst decision ever. I mean, we have these moments of idyllic awesomeness, but also, New Doggie Love poops in Mom's living room. Joy to the world...

What I can say is, family is important and if 2020 taught me anything, it's 'Spend as much time as possible with the people you love.' So here we are. And while I'd love to wax on, I know it will not be eloquent, so I will just say I hope each of you find some kind of spectacular joy, and moments of peace, amidst all this weirdness surrounding this holiday season. 

Merry Christmas, everyone.