O Christmas Tree!

One year when Ginger Spice and I were roommates, we decided we were going to go all out on a Christmas tree for our apartment. We’re both Libras and share the common trait of liking aesthetically pleasing objects. We both also have rather artsy and pretty taste, so we had very big plans for this tree.

Ginger and I decided on a silver-and-gold theme, so armed with this vision we headed off to brave the crowds at the nearby two-story Target. Lights were the first objective, and we thought white lights would be best. We clamored over lots of moms and dads to grab boxes and boxes of the little electric bulbs that were going to make our tree sparkle. Then we moved on down the aisle, carefully avoiding all the little children, to the ornaments section. We picked out all these pretty silver and gold ornaments - some glass, some plastic and some with a heavenly celestial theme. Next we bought yards of ribbon, gold and silver and white with stars so that we could adorn the tree with bows. Ginger also found strands of silver stars to wrap around the tree for the perfect finishing touch.

After spending nearly all the money we had, Ginger and I left Target and went to a tree lot to scout out the best Christmas tree we could find. We picked out the most beautiful Douglas fir tree and also bought a stand to put it in. We brought the tree home and got it in the apartment easily, but as we began setting it up in our bright blue living room we realized that we’d have to cut off some more of the branches on the bottom of the tree for it to get into our newly purchased stand. Ginger tried using kitchen scissors but the branches were too thick, so then I began trying to saw them off with our bread knife. Despite the fact that the bread knife idea was clearly not working, we kept it up for about an hour before we decided to call Paul Bunyan. He is our lumberjack friend, and he came right over and got those branches off for us in about 38 seconds. (Having a lumberjack friend is quite handy.)

With the tree safely in the stand, we turned on the Christmas music and began to decorate it. Ginger is a master tree-lighter, and she did a very good job of getting all the lights on the tree so that it twinkled perfectly. We began tying the bows and hanging the ornaments as we sang along to the CDs. When we finally strung the stars around the tree, our decorating was complete. We took a step back and marveled at our absolutely stunning tree. It truly was a thing of beauty.

Ginger and I were so impressed with ourselves. We couldn’t stop talking about our beautiful tree. We called our parents. We called our friends. We considered calling Southern Living to set up a photo shoot of our amazing Christmas tree. We talked about it all night over dinner with other friends. We came home that night and there it was, still shining gorgeously in the corner of the living room. I went to bed dreaming of that beautiful tree.

The next morning, I could not wait to jump out of my bed and light up our Christmas tree again. I ran from my bedroom out into the living room… and screamed in sheer horror as I looked at the tree. I was not at all prepared for what I saw, and I was crushed. Or, more correctly, our couch was crushed… by our beautiful tree. It was so pretty it had fainted from its own beauty, and smashed half its ornaments to bits. Ginger came running out and had the same reaction I did, but the two of us immediately dissolved into hysterical laughter. We stood the tree back up and tried to reposition the ornaments which hadn’t been broken. Finally it was presentable, but nothing like it had been. At least we had the memory of our Southern Living Christmas tree.

Despite the sparse ornaments after the accident, we got millions of compliments on the tree and it gave us a lot of enjoyment all season long. Christmas trees are my favorite thing about the holidays. I love decorating them, I love looking at them, I love the way the real ones make the inside of your house smell like you’re out in the woods. When we were kids I especially loved the tree because not only would we get to decorate it, but putting up the tree meant that the trains would come out. My mother loves trains and she had a great model train set that we used to set up around the base of the tree. I have many great memories of trees over the years, but I would have to say that the Southern Living tree in our blue apartment was by far my favorite Christmas tree memory. I can’t believe it had the nerve to knock itself over on us!