And it ENDS. Abruptly.

The day after I wrote my "I'm gonna do a half-ironman" post, well, work decided otherwise. Long story short, they decided to consolidate subsidiaries into our company for budget purposes, which means that I had to redo EVERYTHING I had already done to line up the info to reflect the consolidated company. Here in a sentence, that looks so easy, doesn’t it? Just line it up consolidated, Liz.

What they were really saying was: Liz, give up your whole damn summer. Weekends? Nope. Sunny evenings for an after-work bike ride? Forget it. You’re gonna be too tired and you’ll only have 20 minutes of daylight left by the time you get home, anyhow. Triathlon? Cancel it - you will not have the energy to train. Cancel the one in September, too. Want to go have a glass of wine with your husband? You should really just have the whole bottle because you’re WAY nicer when you’ve had some wine, and we’re probably gonna throw something else on you at 10PM that we would like to have ready before a 9AM meeting tomorrow. That wine buffer will really help keep your anger level at bay when we do that.

To sum this summer up in a word, I'd say it was AWFUL. I feel like yes, I did my job and did it well, but really - in terms of enjoying my life - I wasted my time. I have been a horrible friend - I have barely seen my friends, and those with summer birthdays didn't get an acknowledgement until days after their birthday had passed. But, thank you, God, for my GREAT friends who really helped me out when I needed it (thank you!) despite my disappearance under piles of work. I have been a bad wife, but again, thank you, God, for my wonderful husband - and thank YOU, Mr. B.P. for sticking with me on the “for worse” part. I’ve gained weight over the summer. I think anyone who knows any female can attest to the fact that Weight Gain is almost NEVER the goal. The last 2 weeks there hasn’t been a night I wasn’t drinking or crying. Or both. And to be honest, this is not a path I want to continue going down. Luckily, that path ended this weekend, I finished everything and sent it off.

There is always a positive you can take away from any situation. I found I can still do a good job under really tight deadlines and a lot of pressure – not that I want to do that. If anything, this summer has helped me see that I’d rather be happy with how I treat my friends and my husband, not with how well I do a job that does not directly affect my happiness. I also really appreciate how wonderful my Marito and my Friends are. The house, and especially the basement - are looking great. We did a LOT of work on that this summer. I guess when it comes down to it, I put finishing the basement and getting the house ready for visitors (and us) as a priority over training for triathlons. I definitely over-committed myself. Lesson learned.

So. What to do? Talk to The Powers That Be at work and see how to make the whole thing go better next time. Let the clouds of the past 2 months break up and move on, so that I can examine whether what I gave up (tears, sanity, a shot at a half IM, other races, time with Marito, Marco and friends) are worth what I got (paycheck, health insurance, job security). I can't answer any of that in an objective way right now. But I know that I am very happy this period of time has ended.

I am now off to cram an entire summer of fun into the next 2 weeks. The next 2 weeks really do look awesome, I can't wait!