the best way to have a friend is to be one

It's also the best way to keep one.

Whenever I have found myself wondering why I have drifted away from some friends - usually the answer is, I'm not putting in the effort.

There are some friends I have drifted from whom I truly miss. I've moved (or they have), or they had kids, or some other life event has inadvertently changed our friendship. There are other friends whom I was not even aware I was drifting from - until I found out they were in my town via their facebook photos or a status update. Facebook also makes me aware of plenty of things my in-town friends have been up to, but which I haven't been invited to. Hmmmmm. Perhaps we are not really 'friends' then, are we?

I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me. But it does. I'm sensitive like that.

However, at the bottom of all these instances - and there are a lot of them - the common denominator is I'm not really that great of a friend to those people, either. I look at their facebook photos, I comment on a status or two, but I'm not calling them to hang out. I'm not making plans to meet for breakfast, or go for walks or go ski together. Because there are OTHER people I am doing those things with - people who are my actual, real-life friends. :)

Friends are the people you want to hang out with, talk to, be with, help out, have help you out. They add to your life and you add to theirs. Friendship isn't a big thing, it's a million little things. And whenever I am wondering "where have all my friends gone? Why aren't we better friends?" the answer can be found by asking "Where have *I* gone? How can I be a better friend?"