Goodnight, Jackass.

Last night Noodles brought his latest love interest to have dinner with the Detroit Fam. It started off well enough, and Smarty seemed cool. Conversation flowed freely even before we started whipping up peach daquiri-esque concoctions, but of course went along even more quickly once we were two blenders in.

Somewhere in the middle of the Peachiness, Smarty sort of took a turn for the worse. And then as he told us all his desires to be able to "manipulate large groups of people" and "find a way to control their feelings" we saw him to be an avalanche, going downhill at a speed that would wipe out any and all civilization in it's path. At one point during dinner, I compared him (aloud) to Hitler and it a was dead-on analogy.

Smarty immediately ended the conversation saying he had had fun but wanted to spend time with "this guy" as he stood up and double pointed at Noodles. Reluctantly Noodles went, head down as he trailed behind Smarty. He cast a dogged look at P and I as they headed out the door.

P and I wandered down to a neighborhood bar where we concluded their relationship was a no-go and toasted our observation with martinis and gin and tonic. Soon after we made that conclusion, she and I met some interesting guys who ended up coming back to our house after the DJ stopped playing. It was a nice pre-fall night, so we opened some wine on the porch and started talking.

It was about 2:30AM when [to my complete shock] Smarty came storming out of Noodles' room.

'WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? WE'RE SLEEPING RIGHT THERE! IT'S 2:30 AM, CAN'T YOU HAVE A LITTLE FREAKING RESPECT?!? SHEESH!'

Oh no, you did'n!

I just stared at this jackass, screaming at me in MY living room in MY house and thought 'Hm, respect? What about you, you idiot?' So I looked him square in the eye and said "Goodnight, Smarty." Smarty sighed loudly and strutted back to Noodles' room.

Needless to say, Noodles is no longer on the fence about whether or not he should date Smarty. That little shennanigan of his pushed Smarty way over the wrong side of the fence and far out of Noodles' favor! And the Detroit Fam has decided that whenever we just can't be bothered with someone we'll simply say "Goodnight, so-and-so" to them.